Why do women regret casual sex more than men? The orgasm gap is the biggest reason.
A large international survey of over 1,000 people found that the gender gap in regret after a one-night stand is not inevitable. When researchers analyzed what actually caused women to feel worse, sexual satisfaction—especially whether the woman had an orgasm—was the single strongest factor, accounting for about 49% of the gender difference in regret [1]. This means if both partners are equally satisfied, the regret gap shrinks dramatically. The study also showed that this gap only appeared in heterosexual encounters, not in same-sex ones, which points to the dynamics between men and women—not something innate to being female—as the root cause.
A separate study of 401 women confirmed this pattern: women who had casual sex for pleasure (autonomous motives) reported higher orgasm frequency and satisfaction, while those who had sex out of insecurity or pressure reported worse outcomes [5]. The takeaway is clear: when women are in control and their pleasure is prioritized, the negative emotional outcomes associated with casual sex largely disappear.
What same-sex encounters teach us about gender and casual sex.
Comparing heterosexual and same-sex experiences provides a powerful test. The large survey [1] found that the gender gap in regret did not appear in same-sex one-night stands, only in heterosexual ones. This strongly suggests the gap is about relational dynamics (e.g., unequal orgasm rates, power imbalances) rather than something biologically female or male. A study of lesbian and gay individuals [4] found that gay men were more likely to accept casual sex offers than lesbian women, but this difference was fully explained by stigma awareness—lesbian women were more worried about being judged. When the proposer was bisexual (less stigmatized), acceptance rates were equal. This shows that social context, not gender, drives the difference.
About These Sources
This answer is built on 5 peer-reviewed studies — published from 2021 to 2026, 2 from 2024 or later, 5 in Q1 journals, collectively cited 52 times — selected as the most relevant from 5 studies that passed quality screening, drawn from 42 papers retrieved from a database of over 500 million.
Sources used in this answer
The Gender Gap in One-Night Stand Regret: Evidence from Heterosexual and Same-Sex Encounters.
In a cross-sectional survey of 1,044 participants from over 40 nationalities, the gender gap in one-night stand regret was found only in heterosexual encounters; sexual satisfaction (especially orgasm) mediated 49% of the gender difference, and intoxication had a U-shaped relationship with regret.
Was it Good for You? Gender Differences in Motives and Emotional Outcomes Following Casual Sex
A survey of 701 participants (47% men, 52.8% women) found that women reported more negative emotional outcomes after casual sex than men, and that motivations like regulating negative emotions predicted worse outcomes, supporting the presence of a sexual double standard.
Is There a Sexual Stereotype Linking Casual Sex with Low Self-Esteem?
An experimental vignette study with 318 participants found that both men and women with casual sex histories were rated as less desirable for long-term relationships, but no gender double standard emerged—contradicting older stereotypes that only women are judged.
Gender Similarities and Differences in Casual Sex Acceptance Among Lesbian Women and Gay Men
Across two studies (N=465 and N=487) of lesbian and gay individuals, gay men were more likely to accept casual sex offers than lesbian women, but this difference was mediated by stigma awareness; acceptance rates were equal when the proposer was bisexual.
It’s The “Why”: Links between (Non)autonomous Sexual Motives, Sexual Assertiveness, and Women’s Orgasm in Casual Sex
A study of 401 women found that autonomous (pleasure) motives for casual sex were linked to higher orgasmic function via greater sexual assertiveness, while nonautonomous (insecurity/pressure) motives predicted lower orgasmic function.
Social double standards and loss of autonomy also fuel the gap.
Beyond the orgasm gap, social pressures and decision-making play a major role. The large survey [1] found that reputational concerns and feeling pressured or intoxicated (which reduces autonomous decision-making) significantly contributed to women's higher regret. Intoxication had a U-shaped relationship with regret—meaning regret rose sharply at high levels of intoxication, especially for women. Another study of 701 participants found that women reported more negative emotions like anxiety and depression after casual sex, and that these were linked to a persistent sexual double standard that discourages female sexual autonomy [2].
Interestingly, a 2025 vignette study found that this double standard may be fading in some contexts: participants did not judge a woman with casual sex partners as having lower self-esteem than a man with the same history [3]. However, the same study showed that both men and women with casual sex histories were seen as less desirable for long-term relationships, suggesting the stigma is now more about casual sex itself than about gender. This aligns with findings from lesbian and gay communities [4], where the gender gap in casual sex acceptance was partly explained by awareness of stigma—not by inherent desires.